Data-What It Doesn't Tell You
by The Bloody Seje
Summary: Have you ever looked at a Pokemon classed as genderless and wondered "What if they could still 'do the do' but couldn't knock up anyone"? Well this is your ticket to vomit because oh boy are you in for something weird. Rated M for...Impregnation, I guess?


There's been rumors that a Magnezone impregnated a human woman, and the world broke into a myriad of degenerate chatter that always started back on the _how _of the situation. The story of how people heard about it changed with every retelling, ranging from people assuming Magnezone secretly had a cock hiding somewhere in their bodies to people assuming that the pumping screws in their arms were actually ovipositors and they were controlled via electromagnetism hence why they're never shown to be exposed beyond their normal function. The more and more the tales grew skewed, the more and more trivialized the truth became.

And then, the rumors went dark and no one cared.

But of course, stories never die down in memory and people-behind closed doors-decided to see if genderless Pokemon were more than capable of breeding as Pokedex entries said they couldn't. Right away, people debunked all of the legendaries and mythical Pokemon that were confirmed genderless thought to be able to breed, because excluding Heatran(who can be male or female), Manaphy(who is able to breed with Ditto to make Phione), Phione(who is able to breed with Ditto to make more Phione), Lugia(who was confirmed to have a child some years ago that lives on as the Lugia everyone knows today), and the Lati twins(who tell others worthy of their presence that before their kinds' extinction they used to be capable of breeding with other dragons before they grew incompatible) none of them have a place where one could discern the obvious location of genitalia nor could any studies be done on any seminal/vaginal fluids that were supposedly collected from any of them. Lost causes from higher powers aside, researchers began to look into the others that existed.

Since the rumors started with Magnezone, scientists and less-renown Pokemon professors who specialize in Pokemon reproduction decided to see if the entire evolutionary line were capable of oviposition. They tried same-line, cross-breeding, shared-types and even attempted to see if they bred with machinery naturally rather than using a human but in the end it proved that Magnezone were the only ones capable of producing offspring within itself to be deposited into a warm, human body to grow before being laid.

Solrock, Lunatone and Minior were all classed as their own special cases; Solrock seemed to form on their own after rocks were heated a specifically high temperature during a Sunny Day cast by both parents, Lunatone needed the same but had to be cooled in a Moonlight-lit lake before rising out in their well-known form and Minior were only seen as "reproduced" with meteor showers that came every year.

Ultra Beasts were excluded from the research, for the Alola professional Pokemon handling team known as Aether Foundation has shown to be exclusive about the disclosure of their data on these rare phenomenons.

This left researchers to take a few steps back and keep going.

Cryogonal, the living snowflake made of ice, showed to reproduce asexually, but when this finding was found to be accused of treachery, the claims that opposed the idea that Cryogonal didn't breed through mating were silenced as a video rose onto the mature parts of the internet of a Cryogonal laying itself to rest in the middle of a snow storm before the video cuts and two rise off the blanketed ground.

Staryu and Starmie were starfish in genes, so it was quick to settle that their severed limbs could simply reproduce other members of their kind from the remains.

Shedinja's research was quickly dropped, for every test subject sent in to see if it was capable of mating were left soulless husks for mistakably looking into the hole in the back of its shell in the middle of coitus.

Rotom was found to be quite excited to be used for research that it could come to enjoy, but the tests to see if it was compatible with anything living or inanimate left the investigation cold as it proved not to have any discernible genitalia when it inserted itself into appliances.

Golett and Golurk were surprisingly hopeful cases in some curious souls and lots of time was required for researchers to disclose to the public willing to listen that the living automaton and its pre-evolution were in fact incapable of breeding among themselves nor capable of it with others. It was more of the fact that they were ghosts-living remnants of armor from the old times of the Pokemon world-rather than a lack of genitalia because as studies showed(before they were swiftly removed from the internet by anonymous fellows)the golems had very..._capable equipment_.

And thus leaves two whole evolutionary lines that are not legendary, mythical, Ultra Beast nor a closed case already: Beldum and Porygon.

The amount of time spent on researching both of these Pokemon and their evolutions ranged from the usual two weeks to actual months before researchers could come to a conclusion of any kind, but even then they decided to...withhold from giving much detail about their findings. All they disclosed was that Beldum and Porygon and Metang and Porygon 2 were not capable of breeding nor compatible with other species.

This leaves...their final evos, whose research went dark.

* * *

The blue, hulking mass of living technology panted, for their body was overheating from activity that they could not control no matter what measures they performed to alleviate the problem. And it seemed to be welling from the underbody, for it was steaming red and seemed to cause the Metagross great discomfort. Their walking grew lax and soon they dropped to the ground with a heavy thud.

They didn't know where they were or why, but it was a dark room despite being made of entirely white and all they could hear was an annoying buzzing in their ear. Their underside flared up in rising heat and they mechanically groaned in their robotic voice.

Then, the heat began to emit steam from the surface of their red-hot body, the wispy presence converging to a point above the Metagross and slowly changing colors before their very eyes. Soon, a body began to form and as it gained a sharp tone it was revealed to be a Porygon-Z. The man made virus glitched into motion, zipping all over the place above the panting supercomputer and getting the metal being in agony on their feet so they could make a run for it. Right away, as soon as their back was turned, the Porygon-Z began to shake in place as if in anger before they zipped down at the Metagross and melded into their body like a ghost taking possession of someone.

The computer writhed in pain, falling onto its head and squirming about like a downed Galvantula as its body continued to heat up. It seemed not to end, especially as the groaning they emitted was one of great angst, but suddenly they shot forward as if taking a blow and went still. Their eyes were flashing with random images but Porygon-Z continued to show on its "screens", and the heated metal of their underside cooled down into its normal blue.

But then, they began to shake, body seeming to be pushing upwards like a Beautifly rising out of its Silcoon husk, making the room quake from the metal slamming onto the floor over and over again, until finally something rose out from the metal and the Metagross was still again.

In the air resided the Porygon-Z, now completely and comically gravid from the way their belly looked so positively swollen. They hung in a daze for what seemed like a minute before they suddenly began to spin at a great, electricity-generating speed. This proceeded for a good few moments, before three cubes of glitching energy shot away from the Porygon-Z and their belly was flat again. The new shapes slowly began to absorb the electric energy still hanging in the room, using it to morph and take the shape of…

Porygon.

The "mother" of the three began to make motions towards them, the three polygon-designed data structures converting into electricity and soon zapping their way out of the room. Must be why it was so dark.

Then the Metagross began to quake again, their body thrusting upwards as if getting ready to eject Porygon-Z out of them once more, until they ejected two things from their body.

Dodecagon figures of data floated over the computer's prone form, slowly forming around the Porygon-Z above before taking turns spinning in place around the viral glitch and generating their own electricity. Unlike the cubes that sucked in energy to form, these seemed to go on their own accord and soon the room flashed twice like gunshots as two new Porygon-Z formed before the first one.

They seemed to have a conversation, making motions of giggling and spinning their limbs that weren't connected to their body. Their interactions lasted for a good few minutes, until the first of the three began to shake uncontrollably. The other two looked at them in confusion until they all shared the same state. They began to spin in unison, making the room look like a tornado had formed inside of its interior, before they all shot themselves into the computer beneath them.

Right away, the Metagross shot back to life and began to cry in their tongue as their lower half began to heat up anew, looking like molten rock from how fast things were going inside and thus the process restarted itself. The crazed, broken look in those red displays for eyes were glitching, showing rapidly transitioning images of random things but frequently showing Porygon-Z as much as possible. Unlike the last time, where things had been slow and drawn out, it seemed the Metagross didn't take long to freeze up and go kaput while their body overheated again.

Once more, the underside of the Metagross began to push upwards like it were being taken to the Hall of Origins, falling back down like a car piston in motion until six dodecagons shot out of their body. Once the same processes commenced, what could only be the main Porygon-Z rose out of the Metagross nonchalantly, floating above that twitching computer like a mother watched their children play and seemed to squeak in delight as six fellows materialized before it.

This time, it seemed to instruct them to do several things, but as they crashed into the walls trying to meld into the already ruined electrical line of the room, things seemed to be hopeless for whatever the mother had planned. But instead of moping about it, they merely had a change of plan and made gestures to the Metagross' limp form. The six troopers nodded and all seven of them commenced the spinning dance that shot them all back inside of the Metagross.

The poor supercomputer was being used to generate more and more Porygon-Z while those were bred into making little Porygon, creating a paradox of info that remains untouchable to this day, for government officials keeps this info from the public eye.

Let this be a lesson to you trainers: Never let a Porygon-Z hack into your Metagross or they'll turn it into a virus-making machine.


End file.
